Some kind of jug

I sent a work colleague into the soup emporium for my soup today, slightly aprehensively I waited outside, casting an occasional eye into the shop i noticed that there was a jug being used (instead of the tried and trusted ladle of joy ™, after a short interregation i found out that it was some kind of "ran out of soup" situation.

Aaaaaanyway;
this small diviation from the norm makes no difference to the overall experience of the brown stuff, although having said that, it is slightly on the cold side.
The taste is there, its rich and full of flavour, just what you need on these cold days.

The combination of pork crackling (please see below) and Chilli Beef however, mix about as well as oil and water, you allow one taste to come in, then a few seconds later, the second coms strolling along as if completely unrelated, like an arguing couple.  Though the physcial arrangement of these items makes for good scooping!

Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 7
• Bouquet/Aroma: 6
• Heat - Temp: 5
• Heat - Chilli: 6
• Brownness: 7
• Beef content: 6

Dipping choice for today: "Quality" Pork Crackling by Green Top Snacks.  The inclusion of the word Quality always raises an eyebrow.  To feel that the company must state that these products are Quality suggests that if this statement where not made, then the quality would not be sufficient, or that by buying this particular variety of Pork Crackling, then you're avoiding the non-quality version.  I remain doutful that the word "Quality" has holds any weight in this instance.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 50.  Having just come back from a visit to our local pub for lunch, this situation is unlikely to be resolved this afternoon.

OCBBD

Obsessive Chilli Beef Blogging Disorder.

It sounds like it's  a problem, but it's not really.  I can get on with my life as normal, it's just that for 10 minutes per day, i use up my lunch hour buying, consuming then reviewing this soup.  Some people read it and make nice comments, some people say they will read it, but never do.  I suspect that some people must think I've completely lost my mind.

But if truth be known, I just enjoy writing non-sense, about the same thing, everyday.  So when that person i've not seen for a month or two asks me "are you STILL writing about soup?", I can cheerfully announce "yes!".

Whether that person is left feeling impressed or concernde, i care not.  But at least my concerted efforts may have sparked a reaction, and they may do something different in their lives to make someone else smile.

Damn!  The soup has already almost gone as I've been writing this.  The review was all based on the very last mouth full in my cup.  I'm getting pepper *couch* and oxtail.  It's quite gloopy, but hey, it's still amazing...

Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 9
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 8
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 9
• Beef content: 6

Dipping choice for today: Cheddar cheese flavous pretzels by Penn State.  Not sure how this is going to go, because there really isn't much surface area to hold any soup.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 49, almost there...

Curry hangover

My stomach is making noises not entirely dissimilar to that of a large old creaking tanker moored at the docks of some aincient quiet port.  For this i blame the 'new chef' at my local curry takeaway.  How can they change the recipie for Chicken Tikka Rogon Josh?  It's gone from this amazingly inviting bright red affair, to a more standard, oily, normal curry colour.  Tasted nice and was all gone in the end though.

Anyway, i digress...

The Chilli Beef is fantastic today.  Seems like it's been slow cooking all weekend.  It's very thick and this always (usually) runs in parrallel with exquisit flavour. Today is no exception.

Out of 11

• Taste: 10
• Texture: 9
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 10
• Beef content: 7

Dipping choice for today: Hand cooked strong cheese and onion by REAL.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 48, i think if anything was going to grow in there, it would have done so by now.

Now, I digest...

Simple Soup Theory

Let's suppose we are concerned with understanding the entanglement of an Chilli Beef serving pair created at "spoilt for choice", in Bootle. The servings fly off in opposite directions but their properties in some sense remain correlated. They are said to be entangled and it is as if they behave like one soup.

Now in string theory it takes 10 spacetime dimensions (plue or minue one) to create fermions- in this case an chilli/beef pair. It is claimed that 6 of the space dimensions must compactify for the beef shreds to exist in 3-d space.

One idea is communication via extra dimensions, which leads to a time-like/space-like issue. The other idea is the "stringy thread" connecting the chilli/beef pair. If such a connection existed, and is assumed to be an actual material connection rather than a channel for messenger taste particles, then the dimensions thru which they are connected become irrelevant - they could be the normal 3+1d without any call to extra dimensions. What I'm then positing instead is some non-local/souperluminal connection via this "thread" that instaneously transmits information from one serving of soup, to another, on the other side of Bootle (or vice versa).

Essentially I am theorizing that the Chilli Beef is really acting as a single particle that is extended over a macroscopic distance in 3+1d space, and that the apparent EPR causality violation is due to information traveling from one "end" of the extended taste particle to the other.

Soup tastes good today.

 Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 8
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 7
• Beef content: 8

Dipping choice for today: Hand cooked sae salt and Balsamic vinegar by Marks and Spencers.  The vinigar works well and the sea salt always helps.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 45

Quite spicy, tastes wierd

Oh god man, the taste of the soup fluctruates as much as my mood.  Todays soup tastes wierd.  Not helped by the fact it had been sitting there waiting for a new owner for some time. The level of spice is there, but it just tastes unconventional... It's not all that bad and at the time of writing it's almost all gone, but I can't help but wonder what went wrong in the spolies world of soup creation.

Out of 11

• Taste: 6
• Texture: 6
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 5
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 5
• Beef content: 8

Dipping choice for today: Fire roasted Tortillas by Marks and Spencers.  The strap line for this is "Hey ho to Mexico".  Marvelous.  I expect big things from this combination.
There was a late offering of a Cheese taster, again from Marks and Spencers, this was not a happy meeting between the corn and maze based snack and todays strange soup.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 44

Sublime Soup Symetry

They've sorted it out today.  Wow!
I'm painfully aware that the ingredients must be the same each time, but it's the balance that's the problem.  There must be oxtail soup in it, but i can't taste it; pepper too, it's there, but it all the components have been mixed into a sublime soup symetry ™. 

I was in a foul mood today, this soup has (and my expectations where putting it under tremendous pressure) really made me feel better.  Dare I say, happier.

Out of 11

• Taste: 11
• Texture: 9.5
• Bouquet/Aroma: 9
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 9
• Brownness: 5
• Beef content: 9

Dipping choice for today: Mexican Chilli by McCoys.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 43

n.b.  I can also taste a can of tomarto soup in there somewhere...  It's things like this that affect the brownness...

and then there's todays CB

I've never written so many words about soup in one day.  Not sure if it's even safe for me to see if i have any more random splashy food references left...  Oh not, wait, there's one.

Todays soup tastes better than yesterdays; could the soup have knows that i was going to parade it around like a prize heifer, and in retort, change it's taste structure to a more bland tasting one?  Perhaps not.  But i certainly do believe that the introduction of a blow and a spoon for which to eat it, made a big difference to the taste.
Maybe the cooling down and the reheating process changed some things too, we'll never know.

Out of 11

• Taste: 8.5
• Texture: 7
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 7
• Heat - Chilli: 6
• Brownness: 6
• Beef content: 7

Dipping choice for today: Salt and Malt vinigar crinkles by walkers

Technology fails; Soups win

My apologies, last night my mobile blogging wouldn't work, stupid technology...

Mandy Williams hosted monday night super soup special (broadcast live on Sky Sports 1) and it was a pleasure to be part of.
Great company, strange eclectic mixture of noises from Radio 4 and a small plethora of delicious soups to sample, transformed my otherwise mundane monday night into an interesting social soup supper.

I gotta firstly appologise for Beth Finnigan for not getting round to trying her offering (Allotment leek and Potato soup), next time...

First up was Dani Bentley's bacon, sweetcorn, sweepotato (i think), amongst other things, soup.
The look of the soup instantly invokes thoughts of health, taste and well being.  The delicate flavours did not let down this professional looking soup down.  All elements of the dish where cooked to perfection and it was a most pleasant experience.

Danni Bently's bacon, sweetcorn, sweepotato (i think), amongst other things, soup

Next up was Mandy Williams French onion soup, with grated Gruyère. 

I've never tried french onion soup, so I wasn't really sure what to expect.  I hope to god that it tastes like this the next.  It must have been cooked for a good amount of time because the onions just melted away, while the Gruyère cheese just added this extra layer of taste and texture that's quite hard to describe.

Mandy Williams French onion soup

 Last but not least was the Chilli Beef.  As you may have gathered from the amount of times I've blogged about this stuff, it's never the same.  I was worried and felt under immense pressure from my peers that this soup would meet the expectations I have set.  Wondering that when i threw this metaphorical dart at the board of taste, it would slam right into the bullseye.  But alas, it wasn't great, and this left me not wanting to taint their experience (which was quite well received) by further complaining about how much better it's been in the past, but to allow them to just taste the god-dam stuff.  It tasted like Ox tail soup, with more pepper in it.

Chilli Beef on tour

Out of 11

• Taste: 6.5
• Texture: 6
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 6.5
• Heat - Chilli: 5
• Brownness: 5
• Beef content: 6

Dipping choice for today: A spoon!

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 42

Todays soup review will be made this evening

I've been invited to a soup evening at a friends house tonight and it would be rude of me not to take a sample of the CB round for my friends to try:

This bag contains 4 Chilli Beef Soups

I'm therefore, avoiding contact with the CB until then.  At which point I will attempt a mobile blog! (Which is what i presume to be a blog from my mobile.)

We could be in the presence of the first 11

At the time of writing, I'm starving and could eat a sheet of A4 paper and find it tasty...
I'll reserve the potentially record breaking score for later on in my review.

I'll to try and explain, whilst using words I've not repeated too often in the other 85 blog entries about the CB.
It's astonishing.  The kind of  taste that effects the expression on your face.  It summons feelings of shock, to a point.  I've seen people frown whilst eating this soup it's so good. You feel setback and surprised by the depth of the taste and how rich it is.

The Chilli beef soup would certainly be one of the items I'd take to a desert island with me.

I've consumed more of it now, and even after half a bag of crisps, some chicken skin and a buttie, the soup still tastes insanely good.  So here it is, the first score of 11 out of 11.

Out of 11

• Taste: 11
• Texture: 9.5
• Bouquet/Aroma: 9
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 5
• Beef content: 8

Dipping choice for today: Scampi fries by Smiths.  (and some chicken skin from a rather over health conscious co-worker.)  The Scamip and Chilli Beef worked for me the other day.
For the record, chicken skin and chilli beef do not mix well, some kind of culture clash happening there.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 38. Sob it.  Let's aim for 50 and see what happens then.

Self Searching Entry

Sometimes, words alone are not sufficient to explain the experience that the CB offers.
Sometimes, the words just won't arrive in my brain.
More oftern than not, it's nonsensical, madeup, wierdness, that flows from my reservoir of randomness™.  But today, the sun has been beating down hard on the pooled reserves and the townsfolk of randomasia have been using their sprinkler systems all summer, when recommended otherwise.  This has resulted in a droubt of ideas, creativity and words to describe the CB, hence this rather strange and self searching entry.

The Soup is fantastic today, slightly different from yesterday's in ways that can't really be achieved by it standing somewhere, maturuing over night.  That is all.

Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 7
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8.5
• Heat - Temp: 8
• Heat - Chilli:7.5
• Brownness: 6
• Beef content: 7.5

Dipping choice for today: BBQ Beef by Hula Hoops.
This should make for an interesting, finger-tip scolding, dipping experience.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 37.  In the absence of any way of solving this problem, it will have to just continueas is for now.

Chilli Beef vs God

This kind of weather the Chilli Beef excels.  It's freezing outside, my hands are cold and my nose feels like it belongs to Mr Potato Head.

The soup has risen to the challenge and is warming me up nicely. 
It's excellent; taste, texture and chilli kick are all at the levels where you'd want and expect them to be.
It's a strange feeling when the soup is this good, because i almost feel sad as it's going to come to an end at some point... Enjoy it while it lasts, that's the motto for the day.

Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 7
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 6
• Beef content: 7.5

Dipping choice for today: Roast Ox by REAL. I bet you never expected that flavour!  These are an, erm, interesting taste.  Same as beef, for the first second or two, then there's this odd slightly peppery almost earthy after taste.  Ah well, so long as they crunch, I'll pretty much eat any flavour of crisp.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 36.  You know what?  Lets pretend i've cleaned the keyboard. I was expecting this to last for maybe a week, then i'd clean it, but I'm very busy at work and as I've left this mess for so long, it's gonna require a soak to get the CB off the base of the keyboard.  I could however damage the keyboard in some way and get our IT team to replace the it completely...  That's far too lazy though.

Not quite there

I'm sure something has happened in the world of Spolies soup making.  The amount of chilli has been steadily decreasing since last week (which was an excetional week for the CB it has to be said), if this continues it'll basically become oxtail soup.

The special thing with the CB is the inexplainible taste that just hits the right spot, everytime, no matter what your state of depression, hungoverness or hunger you are experiencing at the time.  It was know as the "cure all soup".  Perhaps my expectations have been raised too high, as my attention has moved from simply looking forward to enjoying the wonderours brown liquid, too one of occasional dispair as i sit here wondering what the hell to write about today. Thankfully however, this seems not to be much of a problem as it would appear that i can write nonsense, about the same thing, everyday, without too much of a problem. 

Out of 11

• Taste: 7.5
• Texture: 7
• Bouquet/Aroma: 5
• Heat - Temp: 7
• Heat - Chilli: 5
• Brownness: 5
• Beef content: 7.5

Dipping choice for today: Sea Salted by Seabrooks. Apparently, sea salt is no better or worse for you than normal salt.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 35.  Starting to loose count, interest and the point of starting this bit.

Moon's Day

The soup today tastes like it's lacking something.   A little too much salt, makes it taste a bit cheap.  Never the less, it's still very nice and gets consumed far too quickly.

Whilst I'm on here, I need to mention the Oxtail soup my brother cooked this weekend at his hotle in Devil's Bridge (Hafod Hotel, near Aberystwyth).  It was just unbelievible.  So tasty, very rich flavours, each element tasted so fresh and intentional.  We where served it in this tiny tasting cup, with home made chutney and some freshly baked bread, which had the texture of crumpets.  It was the first of 4 courses, all of which where amazing.

Out of 11

• Taste: 8
• Texture: 8.5
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8.5
• Heat - Temp:9
• Heat - Chilli: 6
• Brownness: 5
• Beef content: 7.5

Dipping choice for today: Scampi Fries by Smiths.  This, believe it or not is an amazing combination.  Standard dip at first, but then i realised they are hollow in the middle.  You bite a little bit off the top, et voilà, scampi flavoured miniature edible soup vessel.

Chilli Beef wth Scampi Fries

scampi flavoured miniature edible soup vessel

scampi flavoured miniature edible soup vessel full

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 34.

5 Senses Soup Experience

A few Fridays ago, i was having drinks and playing some tunes with a friend at my flat, gradually as the beer took hold of my better judgement, the music got louder and louder until the inevitable happened, when the poor fellow in the flat below me politely tapped on my front door asking for the bass to be turned down.  It was loud to be fair.
This situation occurred not because of my disregard for my neighbours, but because all the tunes i was playing where amazing (obviously), this resulted in the music never returning to it's original volume and consequently, got louder throughout the evening.

Also suffering a similar fate are the soup scores below.  As there is never really a bad soup, the scores remain fairly similar each week, until the day when it spikes and the soup is exceptional, the scores get carried over to the next day and edited according to the response i receive from my senses (yes, the CB is a 5 senses experience, i can expand on this if necessary).

I suppose you want to hear how the soup is today?
Going into slightly more detail than normal, the consistency of the soup is OK, I've had better.  Jenkini (an esteemed co-worker of mine) mentioned that's it's "slightly watery", I agree.  On top of this, the beef is very dry and just breaks up on your mouth.  I'm finding it harder and harder to believe that the beef is really shipped in form Argentina.  That said, it's very tasty and this slight deviance in quality can only be put down to the fact that my tolerance to this soup is now astronomical, as are my expectations.

Out of 11 (check the date)

• Taste: 11
• Texture: 11
• Bouquet/Aroma: 11
• Heat - Temp: 11
• Heat - Chilli: 11
• Brownness: 11
• Beef content: 11

Dipping choice for today: Cream cheese and Chives by Seabrooks.  I hate this "flavour", but it's all i had in my draw.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 29.  If i spill more soup on my keyboard, should i restart the counter or just forget it?

The length of this Blog can be blamed on my friend Don Kreecha Heersema, who complained that i was not being informative enough.  How's this one Don?


;)


Real scores:
Out of 11

• Taste: 8
• Texture: 8.5
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7.5
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 7.5
• Brownness: 8
• Beef content: 9

My gustatory calyculi are pleased.

Lethargy, I hate it!
***massive edit***
I've been warned not to go on about this here...

To the soup!  Today it's amazing, i think this could be the strongest week so far, not a bad soup in sight.
The pieces of beef in todays soup almost require a knife and fork.
It works on so many levels, and combined with the horrendously strong cheese on my butties makes for an interesting experience.  Bitter, beefy, peppery, slight chilli with flowing overtones (and undertones) of brown.
Yes, brown is now a way of describing the CB taste.

Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 8.5
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 7.5
• Brownness: 8
• Beef content: 9

Dipping choice for today: Sea Salted by Seabrooks.  M'eh.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 28.
I will get round to cleaning this at some point, just trying to figure out a plan of action. 

It's been an exceptional week...

...for soup.
With a noticeable introduction of pepper to the mix, todays soup rates right up there with the best so far.

Out of 11

• Taste: 9.5
• Texture: 8
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 8
• Beef content: 7.5

Dipping choice for today: Cheese and Onion by Seabrooks.
These flavours work quite well together.  In another post I alluded to beef being an obvious choice, however, this only made the whole experience more beefy, where as if you have a dipping choice flavour that's not in the stuff your dipping into, it broadens your taste experience.  The secret is getting things that don't clash.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 26

Souperfood

I was offered the change to have some watercress soup today. Really?
Watercress over Chilli Beef, let's think about this for a minute, break it down to the bare root essence. Just the basic make up of the name sounds fundamentally flawed.

Water & Cress
vs
Chilli & Beef

Only a vegetarian or some wierdo with a child like stomach would take the choice of the Co2 loving, peppery superfood.

Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 7
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 7
• Brownness: 7
• Beef content: 6.5

Dipping choice for today: Sea Salt by Seabrooks.
These flavour of crisp actually makes me angry, i mean it's just salt, they all have salt in them. Why not just make potato flavoured crisps for the people with no flavour expectations. I suspect the people who eat saled crisps also have a glass of water with their crisps, for dippng of course. Ala Ned Flanders.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 25

N.B. I actually quite like Watercress.

Schrodinger's soup

We have the soup in it's cauldron.
The observer cannot know whether or not the soup is tasty, and consequently, cannot know whether it is worth buying. Since we cannot know, according to quantum law, the soup is both amazing and awful, in what is called a souperposition™ of states. It is only when we purchase a soup and learn the condition of it's taste that the souperposition™ is lost, and the soup becomes one or the other (amazing or awful). This situation is sometimes called runny food indeterminacy or the customer's paradox: the observation or measurement itself affects an outcome, so that the outcome as such does not exist unless the measurement is made. (That is, there is no single outcome unless it is observed.)

Todays soup is amazing, by the way.

Out of 11

• Taste: 9.5
• Texture: 8
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8
• Heat - Temp: 7
• Heat - Chilli: 6
• Brownness: 8
• Beef content: 7

Dipping choice for today: Sea Salt and vinigar by Seabrooks.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 24

Fridays soup poem

Mondays soup is full of hate,
Tuesdays soup is fair of taste,

Wednesdays soup is full of beef,
Thursdays soup is fit for a chief,

Fridays soup, is always spectacular,
When it arrives, you know that you are,
Halfway through, the last day of the week,
When it's 7am tomorrow, I'll still be asleep.

Out of 11

• Taste: 7
• Texture: 6
• Bouquet/Aroma: 8
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 5
• Brownness: 5.5
• Beef content: 7

Dipping choice for today: Cream Cheese and Chives by Seabrooks.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 21

Primordial Soup

Pretty sure this is a new batch today. I arrived at this conclusion through a variety of routes, allow me to enlighten you:
It smells fresher, it's very runny and the taste is quite weak.

Chilli Beef close up

As the soup boils in the cauldron, it thickens and throughout the week the smell becomes less fresh. It is my assumption that, over time, the smell becomes taste, this is possibly done by wizards in a parallel dimension (the gateway to which is at the back of the soup shop). The beef is dissolved by the constant stirring performed by a team of dedicated workers, who monitor the soup 24/7, stirring, tasting, performing midnight vigils to prey for the gods of flavour and texture to bestow their powers unto the CB.

Out of 11

• Taste: 6
• Texture: 6
• Bouquet/Aroma: 9
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 5.5
• Beef content: 8

Dipping choice for today: Beefy by Seabrooks.
An obvious choice.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 20 - This has now gone past the point of being boring, I'm now starting to become proud of my lack of cleaning achievement.

For more or less 5 moths I've been doing blog.

5 Months, what the hell is wrong with me? (This is a rhetorical question by the way).

Good soup today. Very savoury, full of flavour and the texture is just right.
Seabrooks crisps have a slogan on their packets which reads like this: "Once tasted, Loved forever." Long live the Chilli Beef.

Out of 11

• Taste: 8
• Texture: 8
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 8
• Brownness: 6
• Beef content: 7

Dipping choice for today: Cream cheese & chives by Seabrooks.
I've not commented on the combination of crisps and soup for a while, but this strange mashup seems to work very well. The two ends of the preverbial taste spectrum converge in a very nicely rounded taste. The chives make the soup seem quite, erm, herby i guesse.

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 19

..slightly better than average

Back to work after Monday off and the soup couldn't arrive early enough and it was if the powers that be could feel me pain and removed all customers from the soup shop.

The soup supplies seemed slightly low in the CB cauldron, this sometimes affects the beef levels, today is no exception. The soup tastes slightly better than average, which I have to admit, is still very good.

Out of 11

• Taste: 9
• Texture: 8
• Bouquet/Aroma: 7
• Heat - Temp: 9
• Heat - Chilli: 7
• Brownness: 6
• Beef content: 6

Dipping choice for today: Worcester sauce by Wheat crunchies

Days since "the spillage" and I've still not cleaned my keyboard: 18 (I'm getting bored of this now)